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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24193531">Someone Like the Moon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Within/Without [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2x17 vicinity, Multi, Outsider Perspective, conceivably canon-compliant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:01:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,420</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24193531</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie’s trying to give his marriage a chance, but that doesn’t stop him inviting Buck along to “family” dates. </p>
<p>Shannon struggles to keep up. </p>
<p>(set around 2x17, “Careful What You Wish For”)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Diaz/Shannon Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Within/Without [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738876</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>551</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Someone Like the Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I know Shannon's not the most popular character, but I've always found her sort of compelling. And I do love a good "outside POV on a developing relationship" scenario.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I brought a friend, hope that’s okay. This is Buck. We work together.”</p>
<p>So this was Buck, the famous Buck, Evan Buckley. Christopher hadn’t stopped chattering about him since Christmas.</p>
<p>Buck was certainly… a specimen. Had the firehouse ordered him off a catalogue? The pink splotches of a birthmark over his left eye only enhanced his appeal, somehow. </p>
<p>“It’s great to finally meet you, Shannon.” The specimen gave an awkward sort of wave. He wore a crisp white button-down, biceps visibly straining against the sleeves. “Thanks for letting me tag along.”</p>
<p>She looked over at Eddie, who was helping Christopher out of the truck and studiously avoiding her eyes. He’d made no mention of inviting a friend when he suggested a family outing to Sawtelle that afternoon. But she knew her access to Christopher was still provisional at best, regardless of what she and Eddie got up to in the bedroom. She had little choice but to roll with whatever he threw at her. And maybe this was a step forward, Eddie allowing her deeper into his life, introducing her to his friends from the station instead of trying to keep her at arm’s length.  </p>
<p>“Christopher’s told me a lot about you,” she said.  </p>
<p>“Really? Hope it was, um, good things. Yeah, I’m crazy about that kid.” He seemed nervous. She wondered how much Eddie had told him about <em>her. </em>Probably nothing good; what was there to tell?</p>
<p>Christopher made his way over to hug her. “Hi, Mom.”</p>
<p>“Hi, baby.” She crouched down to take him in her arms. She didn’t want to let go; she never did, these days, but he started squirming after a few seconds.</p>
<p>“Okay, Mom.” Her baby got his crutches under him again and took off for… “Bucky!” Christopher exclaimed, as if they hadn’t just gotten out of the car together. Because Buck had driven with them. Which meant she and Eddie probably wouldn’t be having any private time later.</p>
<p>Which was perfectly fine.</p>
<p>“You ready for some bubble tea, superman?” Buck asked her son.</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Christopher cheered.</p>
<p>“Best place is just down the block. You ready for this? It comes with an extra big straw, so you can slurp up the bubbles…” The two of them set off down the boulevard, Buck taking comically small steps with his impossibly long legs to keep an easy, casual pace with Christopher. This left her with Eddie, who was shouldering Chris’s backpack and locking up the truck.</p>
<p>“You didn’t tell me you were bringing somebody,” she remarked.</p>
<p>“Is that a problem?” He was so quick on the offensive these days.</p>
<p>“No, of course not. I was just surprised, because you said ‘family date’…”</p>
<p>“Buck <em>is </em>family,” Eddie informed her. “Christopher loves him. And he’s been a lifesaver since I joined the 118. I don’t know how Chris and I would manage without him. He got us Carla, remember? Abuela and Tía think he hung the moon.”</p>
<p>That stung. Eddie’s family had never warmed to her. First she was the gringa, then she was the <em>pregnant </em>gringa, the gringa who married their precious hijo with her belly already showing through her dress. And then Eddie left for Afghanistan and Helena and Ramón took over, so proprietary of the unborn child in her womb that she sometimes wondered if they saw her as anything more than the carrier of Eddie’s genetic material. It was a churlish thought, and mostly untrue. Mostly. Isabel and Pepa had given her a chilly reception when Eddie brought her round again, and she had to keep reminding herself that it was no less than she deserved. They spoke Spanish to Eddie and Christopher, and after a while Eddie would give up on translating. Possibly because they were talking about her.</p>
<p>So yes, it stung that Isabel and Pepa had taken so warmly to this Teutonic-looking ubermensch who probably devoted every spare minute to improving his admittedly impressive physique.</p>
<p>She smiled and put her sunglasses on.</p>
<p>When they caught up with Christopher and Buck at the boba shop, Buck was holding Chris up so he could read the menu. “Taro is a root vegetable,” Buck was explaining. “It’s a really pretty color, but it tastes kind of like potatoes. I bet you’d like the mango one better, buddy, but it’s your call.”</p>
<p>Shannon raised her eyebrows at Eddie, but he was joining the other two at the counter. “Buck’s right,” he said. “Why don’t you pick out one of the fruit ones?”</p>
<p>Buck looked at her over his shoulder. “What do you want? My treat.”</p>
<p>“Taro,” she said.</p>
<p>Buck ordered the teas, and they found a bench to sit at outside. It wasn’t big enough for all four of them so Buck plopped down to the sidewalk, sitting cross-legged in front of Christopher.</p>
<p>Chris hoovered up one of his tapioca balls and chewed it vigorously. “It’s weird, Bucky.”</p>
<p>“Kind of like chewing on an eyeball,” Buck agreed. “Good weird or bad weird?”</p>
<p>“Good,” Christopher said decisively, and slurped up another.</p>
<p>“Just chew ’em nice and slow, bud. Don’t want a repeat of the gummy worms incident.”</p>
<p>Eddie chuckled. “We sure don’t. That was pretty disgusting.” All three of them laughed, and Eddie nudged Buck’s thigh with the toe of his boot. “I think we all learned a lesson that day.”</p>
<p>“Ten chews per bite,” Chris said, nodding.</p>
<p>No one elaborated any further.</p>
<p>She smiled.</p>
<p>“Did Eddie tell you about the crazy stunt he pulled at work the other week?” Buck said. “The gas main break during the power outage?”</p>
<p>“He didn’t mention it, no,” she said.</p>
<p>“There was a house up in flames, kid trapped upstairs. I’d nearly reached him when the ladder up and broke on me, so <em>this</em> SOB”—Buck jerked his thumb at Eddie—“decided to channel his inner Spiderman. He scaled the water-pipe up to the roof and broke through a window. It was”—Buck leaned forward and put his hands over Christopher’s ears—“fucking insane. And he saved the kid, so it was one helluva rescue. You should’ve seen it, Shannon, he was brilliant.” Buck released Christopher and sat back, beaming.</p>
<p>Eddie rolled his eyes. “I’m lucky I wasn’t suspended.”</p>
<p>“<em>I </em>would have been suspended,” Buck said. “Cap lets you get away with it ’cause you’re a big war hero, and for some reason he actually trusts your judgment.”</p>
<p>Shannon bunched the material of her dress in her fist and waited for one of Eddie’s dark moods to roll over them like a hurricane thundercloud. In their final months together before she left El Paso, she’d learned that nothing shut Eddie down faster than being called a war hero. Even though he <em>was</em>, with a silver star to prove it. Now it was Buck’s turn to learn, apparently.</p>
<p>But Eddie only laughed and slapped Buck’s shoulder. “Maybe I bend the occasional rule. You just break <em>all </em>of them, dumbass.”</p>
<p>“You said ‘dumbass,’” Christopher interjected.</p>
<p>“Yeah, your dad said a bad word,” Buck said. “He’s probably gonna get in trouble with your mom now.”</p>
<p>He was handing her an opportunity, and even though her chest ached, she wasn’t too proud to accept it. “Should we wash his mouth out with soap?” she asked Christopher.</p>
<p>Christopher thought it over carefully. “No,” he decided at last. “He gets three strikes, and then you can put soap in his mouth.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, buddy.” Eddie kissed the top of his head. “Glad someone here has my back.”</p>
<p>They resumed their slow meander down the street. Christopher got excited when he spotted a store called the Giant Robot, and Buck gamely followed him inside. Eddie was right on their heels, but Shannon stopped him with a hand on his arm. “You should probably be paying that man a babysitter’s wage,” she observed lightly.</p>
<p>Eddie frowned, dark brows snapping together. “Buck’s a friend, not a babysitter.”</p>
<p>“He’s wonderful with Christopher,” she acknowledged. She knew she had to rise above petty feelings of jealousy if they were ever going to be a proper family again. Christopher was her son, she was his mother, and a kid needed his mom; Eddie had always said as much. Meanwhile Buck got to be the fun novelty who enjoyed the hugs and the kisses and the sunny smiles instead of the tantrums at bedtime.</p>
<p>Eddie made another move to follow his son and his friend into the store. “We still need to talk,” she reminded him.</p>
<p>“What about?” Eddie said distractedly. His phone was buzzing and he fished it out of his pocket. “Hey, Buck. He wants what? Sure, put him on. Well, are you gonna take care of it yourself, Chris? I don’t want you getting all excited and then forgetting about it the next day. Buck and I aren’t gonna do it for you if you get bored, okay? Okay. Te amo también.”</p>
<p><em>Buck and I. </em>How easily those words rolled off Eddie’s tongue.</p>
<p>Not <em>your mom and I. </em></p>
<p>
  
  <em>Buck and I. </em>
</p>
<p>Like <em>they</em> were the parental unit, Eddie and Buck, Buck and Eddie, presenting a united front to the caprices of <em>their</em> seven-year-old son. </p>
<p>She felt dizzy. The sunlight reflecting off all the bright white surfaces was blinding her, dark spots dancing across her vision.</p>
<p>At that moment Buck and Christopher emerged from the store, Buck cradling… a miniature bonsai tree, of all things.</p>
<p><em>What the hell? </em>she thought.</p>
<p>“It’s a juniper tree,” Chris babbled eagerly. “Even though it stays little, Bucky says it has the same life-cycle as a normal tree. Isn’t it cool, dad?”</p>
<p>“Super cool,” Eddie agreed.</p>
<p>“Bucky says they’re good luck,” Christopher continued, “in—what was the word you said?”</p>
<p>“Fengshui,” Buck supplied.</p>
<p>“Yeah! And I’m gonna take care of it all by myself!” </p>
<p>“You’d better, bud, ’cause that was the agreement. You made Buck a promise, and we never break our promises,” Eddie told him.  </p>
<p><em>I’m the third wheel</em>, Shannon realized. The fourth wheel, actually. The spare tire. In her own family. This was the price, she reminded herself, forcing down the bitterness. Eddie might have forgiven her, but he still didn’t trust her. He trusted Buck instead.</p>
<p>This was the price.</p>
<p>She lifted her hair off her neck and fanned her face.</p>
<p>They ended up having dinner at a ramen place that Buck recommended. She sat next to Christopher in the booth, opposite Eddie and Buck.  While they waited for their food, Christopher got his crayons out and started decorating his placemat, and Eddie and Buck chatted about their coworkers. The one called Chimney, the one who had been in the hospital, apparently he <em>wasn’t </em>dating Buck’s sister Maddie, even though they were perfect for each other, because they were too shaken up by what Maddie’s ex-husband had done to them. The one called Hen, who Shannon was pretty sure she’d met at the hospital that day, was reportedly going through a second honeymoon phase with her wife, Karen. Hen had cheated on Karen with an ex named Eva and nearly lost custody of their son Denny in the process, but now they’d repaired their marriage and were evidently more besotted with one another than ever.</p>
<p>“So much for lesbian bed death,” Buck said cheerfully, and Eddie raised his Sapporo and clinked their bottles together.</p>
<p>“Long may they love.”</p>
<p>Shannon was surprised, a little. Eddie had always been the more traditional one, coming from a Mexican Catholic household. Not exactly conservative, just a bit stiff. Hers had been the more progressive upbringing, and when they were younger, she was always nudging him to be more open-minded about people. Evidently that wasn’t an issue anymore, as Eddie toasted Hen’s relationship and remarked that Maddie’s friend Josh “really deserves to settle down with a nice dude who treats him right.”</p>
<p>“Amen,” Buck said.</p>
<p>Their food arrived, and of course Chris was an absolute menace with the ramen, noodles trailing from his mouth as he splashed broth everywhere. Eddie kept reaching across the table to mop him up, laughing as he did; meanwhile, Buck managed his chopsticks dexterously and periodically ferried bits of pork and vegetable right into Chris’s mouth. She got the impression that this was a routine they had perfected, the two of them, the feeding and the mopping and the mirth that ensued when they made a mess.</p>
<p>It was impossible not to be charmed by it.</p>
<p>She just wished she could be a part of it.</p>
<p>“So,” Buck said, “How did you two meet?”</p>
<p>She exchanged a look with Eddie across the table.</p>
<p>“High school sweethearts,” Eddie said, with a touch of wryness to his voice.</p>
<p>“That’s pretty romantic,” Buck said. “Details, c’mon.”</p>
<p>“Don’t know how much more there is to tell,” Eddie said, dampeningly.</p>
<p>“Dad asked Mom to Junior Prom, and Mom said no,” Christopher interjected. “Mom and Dad went to the dance with different people, but then they danced with each other and decided to be with each other instead of the other people.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Christopher,” Buck said. “That’s a good story. Was Eddie, like, a total loser in high school, Shannon?”</p>
<p>“He was on the baseball team,” she said. “He was definitely cooler than I was. I was pretty bookish, borderline nerdy.”</p>
<p>“You were cool,” Eddie protested. “<em>I</em> thought you were cool. Plus, you were smart.”</p>
<p>Yes, she was smart. Shannon had <em>promise </em>back then<em>. </em>Shannon wasn’t the girl anyone would have expected to get knocked up at twenty-one. Shannon wasn’t the girl who became an Army wife and dropped out of college to raise a baby.</p>
<p>Until she did.</p>
<p>And then she was Shannon the good wife, Shannon the good mother, Shannon who was stretched so thin that she felt herself becoming transparent.</p>
<p>Until she disappeared altogether.</p>
<p>Then she became the woman who left, the woman who abandoned her war-hero husband and her disabled son. Shannon the monster.</p>
<p>“Well, Chris must have gotten his brains from you,” Buck said, “because I’m not convinced Edmundo here has any brains at all.”</p>
<p>“You’re one to talk, Buckley.” Eddie elbowed him. “All brawn right here. You couldn’t find Afghanistan on a map if your life depended on it.”</p>
<p>“That Sporcle quiz was rigged,” Buck argued. “I clicked on Afghanistan, it just kept giving me Pakistan instead.”</p>
<p>“Whatever you need to tell yourself, Buckaroo.”</p>
<p>There was some scuffling under the table, and a dull thud. Eddie grunted in pain.</p>
<p>“Jódete, pendejo.”</p>
<p>Christopher giggled at their antics.</p>
<p>They ate tempura fried ice cream for dessert, Chris telling her that it was his <em>favorite </em>dessert and Buck had introduced him to it. Eddie was smiling, more relaxed than she’d ever seen him, arm draped over the back of the booth, periodically knocking his shoulder against Buck’s.</p>
<p>At thirty-one, Eddie was more handsome than ever, his dark good looks complemented by the lanky blonde giant seated beside him. There was something perfectly in sync about the pair of them, probably a result of the long hours they spent working side-by-side, Shannon thought.</p>
<p>They called it a night shortly thereafter; Chris was getting sleepy even though he was adamant that he wasn’t, he <em>wasn’t </em>sleepy, he was wide awake. “’Course you are, superman,” Buck intervened smoothly. “<em>I’m </em>the one who’s sleepy, good thing your dad’s driving ’cause I’ll probably fall asleep on the way home.”</p>
<p>Outside the restaurant, Buck stooped down from his great height to hug her carefully, and Eddie planted a quick kiss on the corner of her mouth. She hugged and kissed Christopher goodnight, brought to the verge of tears by his sleepily mumbled “I love you, Mom.”</p>
<p>And then Eddie and Chris and Buck ambled off at Christopher’s pace, because even though he was sleepy, he wanted to walk. The three of them, together.</p>
<p>She started her car and drove home alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning Eddie dropped by her place for a quickie before his shift started.</p>
<p>There was something surreal about being a bootycall for her own husband.</p>
<p>It could’ve been hot, maybe. If they’d made more of a game out of it. Role-played as strangers having a one-night stand. But Eddie still took the clandestine nature of their assignations very seriously, in spite of all the progress they’d made. She might be slowly earning her way back to being Christopher’s mom, but she was nothing like Eddie’s wife.  </p>
<p>Eddie seemed into it, though. He fucked her in missionary and then he urged her onto her hands and knees and fucked her from behind. One arm wrapped tightly around her chest, the other anchoring her hip. He sped up and got her off with his fingers as his rhythm began to falter. Always the gentleman, Eddie, making sure she came first before he buried his face in her hair, groaned, and emptied himself deep inside her.</p>
<p>She knew he wouldn’t stay long, after.</p>
<p>Still, she draped herself over his chest and they kissed lazily. She stroked the hair that had flopped across his forehead, damp with sweat. “You’re an amazing father, Eddie,” she whispered, because it was the only endearment that seemed safe.</p>
<p>“It’s all Christopher,” Eddie told her. “He’s made me the person I am, and anything that’s good or worthwhile in me, it’s down to him.” He sat up then, and handed her the bra that was dangling from the bedpost. “Gotta get to work, Shan.”</p>
<p>She stayed in bed after he left. The pillow smelled like his cologne. She wondered, idly, if Eddie lingered in bed with Buck, or if he ended their trysts just as abruptly.</p>
<p>Jesus Christ. Where had <em>that </em>come from?</p>
<p>There was no way Eddie was sleeping with Buck. Eddie was so straight he was brittle, ready to snap in half, and as for Buck, he’d mentioned a girlfriend last night, someone called Annie or Ali. Eddie and Buck were not sleeping together, the idea was… preposterous. Buck was tactile and affectionate; he had a clear knack for drawing Eddie out, making him less reserved. Their line of work fast-tracked them into the kind of camaraderie that Eddie had shared with his fellow soldiers—not that she’d ever met any of them, but.</p>
<p>She laughed at herself. It was just her sex-addled brain playing tricks, torturing and titillating her with the image of Eddie and his strapping best friend getting it on between the sheets. Not an entirely unappealing fantasy, but an utterly ludicrous one.</p>
<p>She’d probably feel guilty about it, the next time she saw Buck.</p>
<p>Just because Eddie would rather spend time with Buck didn’t mean he’d rather have sex with him.</p>
<p>Not for the first or the fifth or the twentieth time, she reminded herself that jealousy was an ugly emotion. And that trust, once broken, took a long time to mend. She ought to be glad that Eddie had Buck in his life, and hell, if the circumstances were different, she would have adored him, too. Buck was sweet, kind, and utterly devoted to her son. He made Eddie laugh, more than she had ever seen him laugh since before Afghanistan, and he made merciless fun at Eddie’s expense. Eddie took himself <em>so </em>seriously, and now he finally had a foil who poked and prodded and ribbed and challenged without ever resorting to cruelty. He was… <em>perfect </em>for Eddie, honestly. The perfect friend. The perfect teammate. She was grateful he had Eddie’s back, in and out of the field.</p>
<p>Would Eddie pound Buck’s ass, or would Eddie cry and let Buck take him apart, piece by piece?</p>
<p>Appalled, she pulled the covers over her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie argued when she asked him for a divorce.</p>
<p>He pleaded. He even shed a few tears.</p>
<p>But she held firm. It was the right decision.</p>
<p>He asked how she could leave him alone again.</p>
<p>“Alone? You’re not alone, Eddie. You have a whole new family now. You have Buck.”</p>
<p>“But Buck’s not my wife, what are you even—. I love you, Shannon, and I want to make this work. For Chris’s sake. He needs his mom—”</p>
<p>“I’m not going anywhere this time. I’ll always be his mom. But <em>us</em>, Eddie…no. We don’t bring out the best in each other anymore, and we haven’t for a long, long time. I think I’m better at being Christopher’s mom when I’m not trying to be your wife, too.”</p>
<p>“Don’t do this, Shannon.”</p>
<p>“I love you, too, Eddie. That’s why I’m doing it.”</p>
<p>It was the best thing she—they—could do for their family. She just hoped Eddie’s pride wouldn’t stand in the way of him seeing it, too.</p>
<p>There was still so much to salvage.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading! Would love to know what you think.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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